Is it done yet? Why am I doing this?

Is it done yet? Why am I doing this? 

by Raquel Garcia 

And other questions of desperation.

Last Thursday, I shared about the self-imposed pressure I felt to send out query letters. Today, because it is the beginning of October, I want to remind myself of all the work I have done. 

September was a rough month with some high highs and some super low lows. But it's done. Overall I should be pleased with the month's accomplishments. But this week has been hard and I currently I feel like a failure. So, because I need to make myself feel better about my life's choices I am going to list some September accomplishments. 

Reason's why I have not failed as a writer in list form. 

1. I wrote over 10,000 words.
2. I created characters that I admire. 
3. I am mostly objective during the final revision stage. 
4. I launched THIS website.
5. I grew my Instagram community, and I am having a blast getting to know them and their passions!
6. I feel confident (most of the time) about my manuscript.
7. I only panicked and had severe anxiety about five times in September. 
8. I DID NOT abandon my manuscript. 
9. I DID NOT abandon my manuscript. 
10. I DID NOT abandon my manuscript. 

Learn and build from your failures but, it is only a failure if you accept defeat. 

Debbie Millman

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Blanket of Light is very close to being done. Or at least as close to done as I am going to get. It will be sent to the second round of beta readers next week. I need to be ok with that. The word count is 80,500, which is quite the accomplishment since back in August I was worried I could not get it past 62,000. 

One of the best lessons from September was learning to accept responsibility for my writing. If I do a half-assed job, then the characters, their story is lost. I want to do right by them. 

Wish me luck. 

Thanks for reading, 

Raquel Garcia